bluebeargoddess' Friends

TxtLJ: Twitter
A rich man is nothing but a poor man with money.
-W. C. Fields

http://www.gocomics.com/pluggers

Current Mood: amused

since this has come up
I've gotten a few compaints and some praise since I started texting jokes here from twitter. It kinda balances itself out so I'm going to do this. I will try to do it less but I won't stop doing it. Figure a joke that's less than 160 characters every hour or so isn't going to kill anybody...

...and if it does, not like I'll hear about it.

Look on the bright side, you don't have to see the mood theme when I text here!

Current Mood: enthralled

posted to kill_de_bunnies but figured it works here too

Current Mood: nostalgic

TxtLJ: Twitter
Advertising may be described as the science of arresting human intelligence long enough to get money from it.

TxtLJ: Twitter
At a formal dinner party, the person nearest death should always be seated closest to the bathroom.
-George Carlin

TxtLJ: Twitter
I don't suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it.

TxtLJ: Twitter
According to a recent study, 51% of all people are in the majority.

TxtLJ: Twitter
If I stab a box of cereal does that make me a cereal killer?

TxtLJ: Twitter
Man goes to shop to buy his wife a maternity bra....shop assistant asks "what bust?"

Man says " the bloody condom"!!!!!

TxtLJ: Twitter
I told the doctor I broke my leg in two places. He told me to quit going to those places.
-Henny Youngman

TxtLJ: Twitter
Laughter is the shortest distance between two people.
-Victor Borge

TxtLJ: Twitter
Can someone just tell me how Twitter ends so I don't have to finish all this reading.

TxtLJ: Twitter
Success is the ability to go from one failure to another with no loss of enthusiasm.

TxtLJ: Twitter
Show me a man who always has two feet on the ground, and I'll show you a man who can't take his pants off.

TxtLJ: Twitter
For Sale: Parachute. Only used once, never opened, small stain...

TxtLJ: Twitter
There are laws to protect the freedom of the press but none that are worth anything to protect the people from the press

TxtLJ: Twitter
I once went out with this wild girl. She made French toast and got her tongue caught in the toaster.
-Rodney Dangerfield

TxtLJ: Twitter
What do you get if you cross a bullet and a tree with no leaves?

A cartridge in a bare tree.

TxtLJ: FORTUNE COOKIE
You make fun of Chinese name...we sell Visa card on internet.

TxtLJ: Twitter
Ever notice that anyone going slower than you is an idiot, but anyone going faster than you is a maniac?
-George Carlin

TxtLJ: FORTUNE COOKIE
Good tip for good service. Big tip for handjob at table.

Advertisement